Bribery is sometimes justified on the theory that it is a victimless crime, that everybody does it and no body gets hurt. This article examines the assumptions underlying those justifications. First, the article reviews recent macro-economic scholarship refuting the older thesis that bribery ‘greases the wheels of commerce.’ Modern economic research reveals that while bribery may facilitate an isolated transaction, when examined over a longer timeframe bribery provides market incentives to increase regulations. Bilateral monopolies of insiders (business and government), misnamed crony ‘capitalism,’ use their relationships to restrict market access and harass competitors, reducing actual market-based competition. ‘Friendly’ regulatory environments, reducing regulatory burdens for bribe-paying insiders, erode safety regulations and distract business from tending to safety and quality control, focusing business efforts instead on developing relationships with powerful officials. The longer timeframe reveals an eco-cycle of regulations, bribery and deteriorating safety/quality control. As a business transaction from the micro-economic viewpoint, bribery is a high-risk business model. The second section of this article provides specific examples of various risk-points in a bribe-transaction, including unreliability of corrupted partners and intermediaries, difficulties establishing fair prices for bribes, and very risky exit strategies. Where entire cultures tolerating bribery arise, modern scholarship reveals opportunistic penetration by transnational organized criminal syndicates. Examples of individual victims of crony relationships between government and business are provided in the third section of the article, including humans injured or killed by ‘low quality control’ or eroded safety standards including consumers of fake pharmaceuticals, toxic toothpaste, melamine poisoned pet food and lead in children's toys. Economic analysis of environmental regulations demonstrates an overall negative correlation between effective environmental enforcement and high levels of corruption. Legitimate business efforts to remain clean even if others cheat, avoiding bribe-based relationships, are addressed in the concluding section of the article, along with some initial recommendations for strengthening practical, legitimate business strategies. Established profit systems, such as slavery/apartheid or dumping raw toxins, were altered once humans perceived the harms, the actual human costs of doing business under the older, discredited model